…. Today…. I talked with shaneil, face to face. She’s turned her life completely around. so proud and happy for her. she’s grown so beautifuly. but talked so down on me.. as if she wasnt just the same as me. just understand me. we are not the same though. Its just hurful though but because its almost as if she expects me to wakeup tomorrow with the rest of my life planned. Doesnt work like that. everything’s questionable. never really know. i want to form my own path my own way and all. Who knows? who knows whats next or tomorrow or who lies above us. Im open to all, but just as this whole world was made to be confusing; i have no choice but to be confused. I will be confused until all is ready. All has changed. Ginuwinely. Inside and out. I want to blossom. But at my own pace, but because i know i will get there and because I WILL. But thank god for her and praying for me and my mom and aunt and brother. Family period. Even the love of my life.