The Devil is trying to test me

You know you can feel the Devil’s presence.. Well my mom definitely showed it today.. Angry, furious.. For no reason.. i tried my best to hold my composure, I feel i did a good job. But noone will try to make me angry for no good reason. Literally over a waffke maker. I cannot let her bring me down. Had me in tears.. Felt my belly cringe vecause i yelled so loud. I was on my way to a meeting about women. I couldnt even make it there. I was just angry. I didnt understand, at all. nor did I understand Evan’s actions.. When I called to tell him ab it … It was just blank.. Didnt feel the same as ever… He flipped the whole thing nd made it ab him as usual… I just cant care anymore. There was a big gap filled w nothing. Only to make me cry more. I did my makeup so nicely nd let tears mess it up. Then, i literally wished i could just call God nd he would calm me down. I just now looked at Evan’s twitter and it made me cringe. As always..i hate it all nd yet he still ignores me nd cant do just one thing to put a smile on my face. Yesterday.. I smilled but because something so ginuwine happened nd i appreciated it. This man had to stop me.. Twice just to tell me how beautiful i am especially w this bump of mine… Ofcourse i was like “seriously?” Haha.. I definitely appreciated and told him it made my whole day and it really did. It really made my heart so warm. But because Evan doesnt tell me im beautiful everyday..actually… No days. It hurts me. It really hurts me. I cant breathe any longer. i cant take it anymore.. Wondering what happened to the evan i fell in love with.. But its not real.. He likes to prove everyone around him right. Hes lustful and does t have God inorder to love me. He doesnt have him faithfully. I bet you he hasnt even asked God to help him love me but because he doesnt care. I dont care anymore. Hes like everyother man. Im worrying ab my child and how much i love her. Nd how she will bring me so much love as she already does. I miss her so much already. Shes my everything. I cannot wait. Amaya im thinking..😊❤️

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s